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What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
Live in the moment. Unless the moment sucks. Then live on Facebook.
Do whatever you want. And if it’s something you’re going to regret in the morning…sleep late.
Do one thing every day that scares you. Or one thing that scares other people.
My therapist said that I needed to find healthier ways of expressing my anger. So I decided to jog home after setting fire to my ex`s car.
I guess I`m somewhat of a big deal, I tell people about my accomplishments and they say "big Deal
"I`m glad the weekends over" -Nobody ever
If heat makes things expand, then I don`t have a weight problem ... I am just Hot!
Last week a 13-year-old girl became the youngest female to climb Mount Everest. She didn’t mean to. She was just texting her friend and the next thing she knew she was on top of Mount Everest.
If my jokes offend you: 1. I’m sorry. 2. It won’t happen again. 3. 1 & 2 are lies. 4. You’re a wussy.
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.