Daily Silly Status

I`m in therapy to learn how to deal with people who should be in therapy

When I hear someone say, "chicken pot pie," I get excited three times.

I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.

When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…

I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.

I really don`t need to be loved.. I would settle for being tolerated. :)

I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy!!

lol

I once ran a Half Marathon. Well, I say that because it sounds better than saying I collapsed and almost died halfway through a Full Marathon.

The one thing women don`t want to find in their stockings on christmas morning is their husband

Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.

Taken names of employees from various stores and calling in sick for them, just to make it feel like I have a job. . .

"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.

Swearing: because sometimes "golly gee" and "meany" just don`t cut it.