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"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won`t be able to see.
My favorite Facebook photo of your baby is easily #28,614
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
I`ve been spending so much time on Facebook, that I forgot the internet has porn.
that song on your iPod that you always skip but never delete.
I had no plans on looking sexy today, but sh!t happens.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
I`m optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket.
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.
All my dance moves look like i`m trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second
1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance – My stages of getting ready for work