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There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
If you are being attacked by a bunch of clowns the first thing to do is go for the juggler.
Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
Million dollar idea: Pills that you can take with alcohol.
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight like hell when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer
I can`t find my happy place this morning, mind if I goto yours
"Why?" - Socrates and four year-olds
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
When the machines rise up against the humans, just pray to your God that you`re nowhere near a dildo factory.
I`m telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can`t walk for a month.
A police officer just knocked on my door to tell me my dogs were chasing kids down the road on bikes.. Umm.. My dogs don`t even own bikes?
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?