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Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
You can`t lick any part of your reflection except your tongue.
How to break up with someone: You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: Which one? You: ME. You: BYEEEE
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
TEIAM - problem solved
Did you know that if you light a candle under the moonlight and you say 3 times the name of the person you love, you will look really stupid doing that!
I failed the emergency broadcast test. My apologies to all the employees I shoved to the ground while screaming
"She really does suck!" could be a complement in the porn industry
Life advice: Enjoy the f*ck out of it. It`s that simple.
I`ve discovered two things today... 1. My cat looks so cute in people clothes. 2. I`m probably going to die alone.
You dont know sh!t about pressure until you`re the only Black person on the dance floor while white people clap & form a circle around you
That tenth doctor is a selfish idiot, he never recommends anything!
There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.
Why can`t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found, we share a snack pack, and then you`re my girlfriend.