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What´s the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.
The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider doing it.
Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder.
Shouldn`t there have been at least one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
You look like I need another drink
Men would be way more excited about cleaning if spray bottles made a laser noise.
Why non-smokers don`t take bubble blowing breaks is beyond me
If you see a road sign that says "Survey Crew Ahead" they actually are not looking for your opinions ... I know that now.
The only thing I drink from a shot glass nowdays is Maalox.
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
Life hack: If you keep your mouth shut, no one will know you`re so stupid