Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Have you noticed that tire stores never hang big banners that say "Blowout Sale"?
I bet spongebob will get his license before Taylor Swift finds love.
Those Box Tops that raise money for schools really should be on wine labels and cases of beer.
Some days, I think that Dexter dude has the right idea.
You know you are getting old when people keep telling you how young you look.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
It`s bigger on the inside..said no woman, ever!
Swearing releases stress and that`s just one of the f*cking reasons I do it.
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
I recently jumped on the back of my psychologist and started counting...1...2...3 and he was so suprised asking me what I was doing and I answered offendedly: "Well you`re the one who said I could always count on you !"
Good neighbors do not put password on their wi-fi.
I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean if you want an autograph or a picture just ask..!
Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.
be smart, pretend to be stupid!
I think Facebook now comes under the housework category.