Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
LISTEN: It was sweet of you to suck the venom out of my snake bite, but if you really loved me... you would have swallowed.
Why do TV shows say "May contain nudity"? It either does or doesn`t. Don`t make me watch the entire thing and find out the hard way it doesn`t....
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
It’s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
I really like that machine at the gym where you put money into it and snacks come out.
Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
Happy birthday you motor boatin SOB! Have a great day
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth.
I wonder if Brazil has a wax museum?