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I hate it when I buy organic veggies but when I get them home I find out they are regular frosted donuts...
Ever talk to someone so stupid they make you squint?
Nothing says "I`m behind on child support." like 26" spinning rims on an 86 Chevy Malibu.
Why doesn’t McDonalds have an order taking microphone on both sides of the car, yet?
There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
I’ve been that, done that, had that, lost that, needed that and felt that. Just a few of the many reasons why I always drink to “that”.
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
If my fridge had glass doors I would still stand there and hold the door open.
Some people are just pure evil...I should know because I`m one of them.
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
You know what the trouble with jogging is...by the time you realize you`re not in shape for it, it`s too far to walk back.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.