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I`m amazed at how much better my life has been since the iOS 7 update. I bet it would be even better if I owned an iPhone.
You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
I`m gonna open a bar and name it Rehab.....
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
Is it a firm rule that you have to be an addict to check into rehab? Because that one in Malibu looks pretty nice.
I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
Gym update: not there
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
Tried to make a stew and accidentally summoned a demon again.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I’d take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
When you`re a kid, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You`ve gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" As an adult, not so much.