Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your lights are on but I see someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
For all those girls that say `all guys are the same` ... Who told you to try them all? Hoe.
Boys are like roses, watch out for the pr!cks...
I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though.
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
I farted on my wallet. Now I have gas money
I can`t decide what`s more embarrassing - the fact that I still live out of a suitcase, or that I`m a professional ventriloquist dummy.
When I say "It’s a long story," it doesn’t mean it’s actually a long story. It means I just don’t want to tell you.
When I`m older, I`m going to buy one of those Volkswagen Bugs. Only because I have a excuse to hit my wife every time we go somewhere.
In order to get my teenagers attention I shut off the WiFi router and wait for them in the room it`s in.
A court date is still technically a date, right?
Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
If you`re feeling bored, find a group photo of four girls on instagram and then comment "you three look great!" Wait and grab popcorn.