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Once in a while you meet a person that makes you smile when you think about them. They`re trouble. Stay away from them.
I wish the "Do not ask me again" option existed in real life.
I am sorry I had feelings. I`ll replace them with jokes right away.
If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll do it.
I went for a 6 mile run tonight. The police are getting in much better shape these days.
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
I got a free wallet and watch today. It`s like this gun is magic.
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships.
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
I`m smiling ... You should be scared.
I party until the taxi with the pretty red and blue lights picks me up.