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cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
If you try and don´t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
My neighbor`s are going out of town for the weekend so I finally have the house to myself.
Your eyes are so beautiful. If you look deep enough i can see my own reflection...
I purposely bought the same grill my neighbor has, so every time it needs to be cleaned, I just switch them at night.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Groundhog Day, Just walked outside and saw my shadow, It`s now official, Six more weeks of dieting :/
I don’t understand ads on porn sites. like who is ever in the middle of jerking off then goes like “woah! that’s the new detergent?”
Cheers, to judging people who spell words wrong in their statuses.
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she’s never around when I’m awake.
Hey babe, go to Google Earth, zoom in on your house. See that blue cap in the bushes? Hi!
Can you imagine if Facebook and Twitter just decided to shut down and you see all these confused people coming out of their house squinting at the sun.
I`m in no shape to exercise patience!
No matter how nice I ask random people, nobody will take me to Funkytown.