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I couldn`t find the word `Disappear` in the dictionary. Strange!
I once got a ride home from the pizza guy by ordering 1 pizza to be delivered to the bar and 1 to my house. Pretty sure i deserve an award.
A penny for your thoughts. Five bucks if they`re dirty.
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
I`m at my neighbor`s house having a delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home.
Anything is possible with the right attitude and a sledgehammer
Just been wondering what "please Do Not Touch" would be in Braille
I spend more time looking in the fridge than I actually do eating.
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
You know you are getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Two things everybody wants: 1) Lose weight. 2) Eat.
Iām positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators.
He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it`s all screaming and sh!t.