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I’m crazy but not “LeBron is better than Jordan” crazy.
I am the bestest at the English language...
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
I`m not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
I`ve been working on losing weight, I was doing Jenny Craig for awhile........till her husband found out (<>..<>)
Girl rule. A girl will only compliment another girl that is uglier than they are.
I try to live each day like it`s my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
Everything I need to know in life I learned in kindergarten... if you poop your pants they let you go home.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at some`s house, I always take a piece home with me.
Spice up your Facebook experience by making your status updates your google searches.
I just watched Back to the Future Part II and not once did I see a person walking around staring at their smartphone.
Don’t start an argument with a girl because they have 45030194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 2:27PM on April 23rd 2008.
Every time I go to the bank I ask if they are giving out any free samples.