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Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
Who ever said technology will replace paper.....has obviously never tried wiping their a$$ with an IPAD.
If I drank, I`d have a lot funnier status updates on Facebook than I do now. Well, at least I`d think they were funnier.
Your name should be Gelette because you`re the best a man can get
WHEW! I just had a near-work experience.
I was standing in front of the mirror earlier, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
The awkward moment when people think you`re drunk when in fact you`re just a blast naturally.
I just devoured a six inch from Subway and I`m still not satisfied. I get it ladies. I get it.
I am sweet, lovable, kind, shy, and innocent ... Oh, for heaven`s sake! Stop laughing!
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.
I wonder if birds look at planes and think "man, I`ve really got to hit the gym"
If the shoe fits, buy it.
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.