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You know why you like me ... Cause your f*ckin crazy too!!!
"Grow a pear." - How to insult an apple tree.
I think Facebook is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma`am? Me: No, I`m just dizzy b/c I`m having a heavy flow day. It`s really clotty and... Cop: You`re free to go.
I was called a sexist today ... I said, I think you`re mistaken ...its pronounced sexy
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
Did the Energizer Bunny finally stop going and going, and none of us even noticed it?
Mondays feel like biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it`s oatmeal raisin.
Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.
The guys at Home Depot must take classes to know exactly what I meant by "the little thing next to that one piece with the round thing."
Sorry I missed your call ... I was to busy singing and dancing to the ringtone
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
I like to walk up to strangers and ask, "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.
If you really want to know how she feels about you, get her drunk & then piss her off.
I just had Déjà vu...and you were an asshole both times.