Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s Thanksgiving. Don`t forget to set your scale back 25 lbs
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
Great. Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he`s making noises with his gum
make little things count. teach midgets math.
No, an erection is not considered personal growth.
I put the hot in psychotic.
If you’re a millionaire and you don’t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool then you should just give me all of your money because you’re wasting it
Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.
They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a mile away. Seems a bit far fetched to me.
If I was a Chinese millionaire I would change my name to Cha Ching.
Alarm Clock(n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
With my eyes. That`s how I roll.
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered is god playing angry birds hmm
I always hit the "no receipt" button at the ATM because I don`t need that negativity in my life.