Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just told my brother he was adopted, his response was, "At least they picked me"
Teenage girls hang out in odd numbered groups because they literally can`t even.
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
I want to start a womans magazine called "Period". ..then every few months I`ll send it out late JUST to freak them out. ;)
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
My girlfriend told me to grow a pear… What the hell does fruit have to do with killing this spider?
I`m so sick and tired of my light weight friends who can`t handle their alcohol...Last night , they dropped me 3 times when carrying me out of the bar!
My GPS says "time of arrival" ... I see "time to beat."
Save electricity! Would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?
bored out of my mind in class i began staring into space... space happened to be right in front of me at the time...
Don`t put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow.
If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case.
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
I`m old enough to remember being the tv remote.