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America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
It was love at first sight...I should have looked twice.
New Years Eve. It takes 24,367 bolts to put a car together and only 1 nut to spread it all over the road, please don`t drink and drive and become the nut
I saw a poor old lady fall over today, at least I presume she was poor, she only had $ 1,20 in her purse
Is there a way to politely throw breathe mints in someone`s mouth while they`re talking?
When one door opens & another one closes, your fricking house is HAUNTED!
MAY` contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn`t. DON`T WASTE MY TIME
I didn`t sleep well last night so this morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. Half way to work I realized I forgot my car.
Iām tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
Every novel is a mystery, if you never finish it.
The difference between your house smelling like delicious popcorn or burnt a$$ is around 24 seconds ..
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with... How did 2 sticks win out!?
I`ve run out of things to be upset about. I hope Justin Bieber has kids soon.
Hey, people who don`t drive *exactly* like I do. Get off the road!