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Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
I think I could be a farmer. Except for the dirt, waking up early, wearing overalls and planting crops. But I wouldn’t mind driving a tractor around.
I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
I’d get a lot more sleep if I didn’t insist on reading the entire internet every night.
I really would like to take a yoga class. But I really can`t trust my farts.
I bet it’s pretty hard at a mime’s funeral to figure out when the moment of silence is over.
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
Accidentally walking through the camping aisle at Target every once in a while is about as outdoorsy as I get.
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
Why did they send me to this white room? Do they think I`m crazy? Do they think I`m ...HOLY CRAP THE WALLS ARE FLUFFY!!!
…and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve!
I danced like no one was watching but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance