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Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.
I just burned 1200 calories ... I forgot the pizza in the oven again.
TEIAM - problem solved
Gimmie a P. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an O. Gimmie a C. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an A. Gimmie an S. Gimmie a....oh, nevermind. I`ll finish this later.
I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know.
okay it was me..... I did it ..... I let the dogs out
Real friends show me their boobs
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
I self medicate, therefore you live.
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
I don’t have a bucket list, but my f*cket list is a mile long.
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?
A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.