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That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from.
The future is much like the present, only longer.
Boobs, because you can`t motorboat a personality.
I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what I’ll say next.
People who get offended on the internet are the same people that take mini golf seriously.
llllllloooollllll...........................i saw a donkey on a bike
Some of the best decisions I`ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
I`m not funny, I`m just really mean and people think I`m joking.
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
Facebook becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.
If there`s a bar where everybody knows your name, you`re probably an alcoholic.
The light does go out in the fridge ... Now I have to wait for someone to let me out.
Alarm Clock(n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour.
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.