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I’ve made some mistakes I wish I could make again.
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
I`d be amazing at life if I was only asked to sit and play on the computer all day.
Don’t underestimate my ability to be hungry.
I will always love you, even if I have to from no closer than 300 feet.
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
I know money talks but I wish mine had a better vocabulary instead of just ‘Spend me’.
"Bros before hoes" is something a bro without a hoe would say.
I finally stopped caring what other people think ... I hope everyone`s ok with that.
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money`s worth...Just saying.
Ummm,, Can we just admit we may have taken this anybody can grow up to be President thing a bit too far.
Actually officer, if you factor in the earth`s rotation, we were all speeding.
You know what the trouble about real life is? There`s no danger music.
Of all the people who "claim" not to give a sh!t, I`m pretty sure the guy standing barefoot in front of the urinal at the gym is the winner.