Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I didn`t have a dollar.
Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
Saying an actors performance was unbelievable is actually an insult.
I`m always tempted to yell "Kevin!" mid-flight.
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
How about putting that screaming kid on vibrate
My favorite part of Summer is the booze. Coincidentally, that`s my favorite part of the other 3 seasons, too.
When my kids grow up, I`m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I`m bored & then just leave!
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
A true man is one who leaves his wife alone in cold weather and goes to watch football.
I was going to get a lot of stuff done tonight, but I didn`t. Because, you know...beer.
In theory, sex should be grosser than letting someone borrow your toothbrush, but it`s not.
Are you bored? Go to someone`s Facebook wall, Scroll down 4 months and like something.
We got an extra day this year. Why did it have to be a Monday?
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.