Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What do you call a woman with big breasts who doesn`t make sandwiches? A compromise.
Laugh now, but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world
“I promise”, “I am sorry”, and “I love you” all have eight letters, but then again, so does “bullshit”.
Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.
I can tell you nice things but they`ll all be about me.
If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
I used to think using big words meant you were smart, I was somewhat right but that was before I heard politicians speak.
The skeletons in your closet are suggesting that you upgrade to a double wide, walk-in.
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
Shot my first turkey today...scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome!
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, Knock over a lamp, and kill a cat.
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?
Are walruses just vampire manatees?