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Just got back from a vacation in Nevada...turns out that money can by you love.
If you think you aren`t creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
"And then I rented a monster truck and drove it through their f*cking house!" - How all my stories would end if I was a billionaire.
Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I`ve only missed one day.
I love arguing with you so much, I`ll bring a Ouija board to your funeral.
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
Not to brag, but Netflix recommends certain movies just for me.
If the Dollar Store ever starts selling alcohol....drinks are on me.
You don`t get smarter as you get older. There just aren`t any stupid things left that you haven`t already done.
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches
roses are red,violets are blue,god made me beautiful, what happen to you..
The nice thing about living in the southern states is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense here.
If Iām ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.
It`s not a real hangover until you bring a pillow into the bathroom.