Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
People keep asking me what my resolutions are, like they can`t see I`m already perfect...
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
I am Bad and thats Good. I will never be Good and thats not Bad. There`s no one i`d rather be than ME.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young
Seth Rogen and James Franco having their movie pulled due to terrorist threats sounds like the plot of a Seth Rogen and James Franco movie.
What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
I only use the outdoors to get to another indoors.
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.
Whoever said "money doesn`t grow on trees" has obviously never sold weed.
I found a penny today that reminded me of you. Totally worthless and always in a stranger`s pants.
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.
The only difference between McDonald`s and my work is McDonald`s has only got one clown running the show.