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If you watch COPS backwards it`s just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what`s for dinner.
Technology is outpacing my ability to come up with convincing lies that I didn`t get your message.
When one door closes, another one opens.... That`s when you realize that you`ve bought a really bad second hand car.
I don’t always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment.
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
My friend said "hey that girl has a nice butt" I said "yes i bet she can sit down excellently "
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
I`m no cactus expert, but I know a pr!ck when I see one
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
The awkward moment when you realise you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway.
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.