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Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Always have faith and believe in yourself…well because..the rest of us think you’re an idiot!
I have a coffee table in my house. It`s decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!
Updating my status in the car. Don’t worry, I’m in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the cops.
Sixth in line to the throne takes on a different meaning when you’re not in the royal family but in a dive bar.
Maybe my mom was right all those years ago. Maybe I won`t be happy until someone loses an eye. Maybe that`s what`s been missing.
Why do they leave folding chairs so close to the wrestling ring? Shouldn’t the maintenance staff have learned their lesson by now?
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,…Why don’t you ever smile in my pictures?
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "THERES ONE." -same guy, you`re british.
I’m always disappointed when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch on fire.
There is a special place in Hell for people who stop at yellow lights.
I used to think I was a man of vision. Now i`m pretty sure they`re hallucinations.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but i turned myself around and THAT`S what it`s all about
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.