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I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
I made a p@nis out of Legos. A literal c*ck block.
I love Halloween because it`s the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
If the Terminator was female the line would have been, “I might be back, I haven’t decided yet.”
Always be yourself, unless you suck…and if you suck you should try being more like me.
Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
I`m going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night.
If a$$holes could fly, this place would be an airport
I would not mind living next to a serial killer. They never kill the neighbor. He`s the one that`s always on the news later saying "He was a quite guy, never really talked to anyone." Wait a minute ... I don`t talk to my neighbors!
It`s hard to be a good person when kids fit so perfectly into trash cans.
Awkward moment when you just wanted a sugar daddy but becomes the First Lady of America!
Today I recently discovered how to make my p@nis 12"...I just fold that b!tch in half.
People always say that alcohol kills... but if you think about it .... it causes many births too.
I wish life had a “rewind-the-weekend” button.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you`re probably a weatherman.