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Working from home means I save money on train tickets and pants, but spend more on vodka and pizza.
What if pay-phones are disappearing so they can keep us in the matrix?
I`m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
"I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"-Me, every time I drink
Just so we’re on the same page, I’m on 43.
Cant imagine the look on Obamas face when he saw `Olympus Has Fallen`..His next quote would have been.."No more Taiwans in the secret Elevetor office"
When I drink alcohol.. everyone says I`m an alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. no one says I`m fantastic.
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
I like to gaze up at the stars at night and think about how somewhere there is intelligent life that hates doing laundry as much as I do.
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
Sometimes the fact that bacon exists is enough.
I like it when everyone posts on Facebook what they are cooking for diner...it makes my decision on who to drop in on so much easier.
Highways need 4 lanes per side - A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane & a "where in the hell am I?" lane.
The future was so much cooler in the past.