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Women don`t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think.
Ever check your Facebook early in the morning where you have to close one eye because the screen is too bright?
Something I will never understand: Why it’s acceptable for people to be idiots but not acceptable for me to point it out.
Did you ever notice how a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I’ll be home in 5min” are one and the same?
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it`s just awkward
Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
Yoga is a great way to meet and embarrass yourself in front of women
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
When I see a girl with too much makeup, I just want to use my finger to write "Wash Me" on her face.
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, Knock over a lamp, and kill a cat.
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.