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real eyes realize real lies
Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher.
Nothing like calling off work and watching porn all morning.
When my wife picks a restaraunt that I don’t like, I just say “oh yeah, that’s where that really cute girl works”. Problem solved.
Sorry, I can’t today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandfather’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and yes, it was tragic.
The only thing worse than a male chauvinistic pig is a woman that won’t do as she is told
I have been delaying my computer updates an hour for the past 3 years.
Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
If you need time alone, announce that it`s time to clean the house.
Whatever Mom, IF THAT`S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!!!
While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body -But men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
Women with big breasts... ...can get a taxi on the worst days ...have a neat place to carry spare change ...have always been the center of the arts (art) ...make jogging a spectator sport ...can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub ...have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them) ...usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie ...can always carry a little extra ...always float better ...know where to look first for lost earrings ...rarely lack for a slow dance partner ...hav
I don`t use cocaine, I just like the way it smells.