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Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
I`m not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB
So it`s racist to call a team Redskins but it`s okay to call a restaurant Cracker Barrel ?
I`d rather have my arms fall off than make two trips carrying in groceries.
You call it "Road Rage". I call it "Aggressively maneuvering around a$$holes that don`t know how to f*cking drive."
It isn`t a successful BBQ until some drunken idiot walks face first into a closed sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
Still waiting for a criminal on Law and Order to say,,, "Hey,, Aren`t you Ice-T?"
My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can`t carry 23 items in my arms through the store.
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
You know it’s a really good bar when there’s a couple outside breaking up.
If I had spoken to my parents the way some children do now, I would not be here to share this status.
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.
I`m getting really irritated. This is the tenth ATM I`ve been to in the last week that`s had "insufficient funds".