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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish my ex wife would die ... That`s as far as I got.
They should create an app that makes your cellphone go “ahhhhhhhh” when you plug it in.
When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible…but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell!
Ordering a water with lemon says “I’m too cheap to buy a drink, but I still like a little zing.”
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
lifes a laugh, start living it!
Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
All I want is to see you smile...that and maybe a pizza.
What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?