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Kiss me I`m Irish, put a little tongue in it, I`m French too
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
Designated drivers just drive me to drink.
Lots of people waiting in lines today. Did a new iPhone just come out?
Probably the most exciting feature on the new Iphone is the way it upgrades simple phone theft into full on finger removal.
Note to self... next time my wife asks what`s on tv, don`t say dust
On the bright side, all that coal will keep me warm this winter.
My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.
For the first time in my years of working I have been hard at work all day......dammm those pills!!!!
I don`t really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there.
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
My secret fantasy is to have two women at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
The ski racks on my car say I’m fun, adventurous, and can’t figure out how to take the ski racks off my car.
My bank called because they noticed ‘highly suspicious activity’ on my charge account. It was for a gym membership.
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.