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Happy 1 year anniversary to the Lean Cuisine in my freezer!
I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I`m fearful of her college days.
Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"
Neighbor just yelled at me for playing in his sprinkler. Note to self, I should wear clothes next time.
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 3 or 4 births before they throw you out.
Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
I have reliable inside information about Apple`s next product. I will not be able to afford it.
Judging by the amount of times I accidently cut myself on sharp objects it`s probably just as well real lightsabers aren`t available yet.
EVERY Friday is good in my book!
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
I hate when the remote is way over there
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.
My horoscope says I will meet the woman of my dreams today. Not sure how my wife will take the news but I`m pretty damn excited.