Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life is too short to be kissing the wrong a$$.
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
You know you are old when your birthday suit doesn`t fit anymore.
So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.
A good man can make you feel sexy, strong, and able to take on the world ...Oh sorry ...That`s wine ...Wine does that.
Let`s party like there`s no tomorrow and call in sick if there is one.
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
u cant spell awesome without me
What idiot called it a driver`s test and not a Game of Cones?
You`ve cat to be kitten me right meow.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
Why do pickup truck commercials think it`s very important that I`m able to tow a plane?
Send me one more game request and I`m showing up at your house drunk, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister
I just need someone to feed me and tell me I’m pretty.