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He died doing what he loved, annoying the hell out of me and not believing I would stab him.
Dear Mother-in-Law, Do not tell me how to handle my child, I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement.
You can be like "This is a slippery slope" or you can be like "Weeeeeeee!"
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
Hey Guys, I don’t have Instagram but I just wanted to let you know that I had oatmeal for breakfast. No sugar, mixed with water.
they say winning doesnt matter then why they had kept scores
Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
You know you can`t say "happiness" without saying "p*nis"
Sometimes I wish I was a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.
Day Light savings this weekend is pissing me off, we will lose a hour we will never get back...........wait...thinkin`.....I guess we do....carry on...