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If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$
Always have a goal. Example: Turn as much alcohol into urine as you can.
Person: You`re blocking the view. Me: B!tch, I am the view!
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
I just don`t want to look back and think "I could`ve eaten that"
I`m celebrating 1 year of sobriety today ... I think it was 1989 ... Cheers!
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
When I was a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
I just realized that I haven`t done the "Hockey Pokey" in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it`s all about.