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Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
like this if you are against animal cruelty
I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
Life should be more like hockey. When someone pisses you off, you just beat the sh!t out of them then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
You just dont know how dumb you are until you get a little smarter
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
“Let’s hang out sometime.” - liars
Just bought two donuts without sprinkles...Diets are hard!
Last night I was thrown out of the casino for misunderstanding the use of the Crap table.
Why isn`t cat food made from birds, mice and squirrels??
Most people don`t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever
Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.