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I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
SPOILER ALERT: Rice cakes do not contain any actual cake.
At what point in potty training do you give the child a toy smartphone?
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
I wrote a song about a tortilla actually its more of a wrap.
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
Today is Friday the 13th. Try not to be a teenage girl in her underwear at night at a deserted summer camp today.
My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it`s cause I`m afraid she might try to poison me.
If someone says “you’re funny” instead of laughing, you’re not.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who’s hot. It’s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
When a girl says "no," a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
My exercise routine needs to include a little more than opening difficult pistachios.
Home is where the pants aren’t.