Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
No matter how prepared you think you are, a retractable vacuum cord will always find the weakness in your defense.
Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
Nothing says "My life isn`t going exactly as I planned" quite like being at Wal Mart at 1am.
Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
“100 Calorie Packs” roughly translated means “Eat Two or Three of These”
My local hairdresser just got arrested for selling drugs. Unbelievable! I`ve been her customer for 10 years and had no clue she was a hairdresser!
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
It`s a good thing the gas station is open today...... I still have time to do my Christmas shopping.
If two wrongs don`t make a right, try three.
To all the girls who think all guys are the same: Who told you to try them all? Whore.