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Funniest thing ever heard on TV. "Ward, you were a little hard on the Beaver last night"
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
What if all this time it`s been Chicken that taste like Frog legs????
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
If there wasn’t such thing as a last minute I’d never get anything done.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
Just printed out 50 copies of today`s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I`m just not in the mood for small talk.
My mother said, "You won`t amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
They say you`ve got to spend money to make money. Feel like there`s some middle step I`ve been missing?
You know what the trouble about real life is? There`s no danger music.
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.
I think a clear conscience is really just memory loss