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Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse."
Don`t just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
You can stay, but your clothes must go.
If my "check engine" light would check my wallet, it would know there`s nothing I can do about it.
It`s pretty amazing how many times my daughter likes to say "it`s not fair!" considering she has never had to pay taxes
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh ya…..Just you wait.....”
There needs to be more “damn it I missed my exit” exits.
How does anything EVER get done at the bubble wrap factory??
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."
FACT: Men are much less likely to divulge a secret than women. Probably because they weren`t really listening to begin with.
Why is it always the same person getting in your way from start to checkout at the grocery store?
We should be thanking our Dads for bringing us into the world, not our Moms. She probably wasn`t in the mood...