Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

People say circumcision dosen`t hurt. I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn`t walk for nearly a year.
BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
Alcohol goes in, truth comes out.
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
The good thing about being 6' 6? is that if I develop a bald patch, no one will see it..Unless you’re using Google Earth.
It`s not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you`ve reached your destination.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
My blood test came back as B+ Any tips how I can get an A+ next time?
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
Your trophy wife is more of a participation trophy wife, isn`t she?
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button
Remember....... Its not drinking alone if you`re on Facebook ;)