Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To error is human, to forgive is divine, to keep your damn mouth shut is much appreciated.
I don`t think my blind date was blind, she read the menu and caught the basketball I threw at her
Im pretty sure that my shrink this week mumbled "this is pure gold" under his breath
Saying the word "awkward" in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
Was there even food before people started posting pictures of it on Instagram?
Nipples (noun) - the body`s way of telling you the weather
Without stupid people we would have no one to laugh at.
Black Friday, because after a day of thankfully stuffing your face, you deserve a deal on purchases you don’t need.
Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure.
Life is fun! You should get one.
A homeless guy just asked me for money, and I almost gave it to him, but then I thought... he`s just going to use it for alcohol, and then I thought... That`s what I`m going to use it for.
Missed connection: you were washing your car in a bathing suit. I rode past your house 78 times. You threw a rock at me.
Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in
Aaron Hernandez`s next jersey is going to be a jailhouse jumpsuit!
If you love something, feed it so much that it get’s too fat for anyone else to want.