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“Swearing is unattractive” I’m not attractive anyway so f*ck off
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
The real reason I`m not a superhero.... Pockets, I need my pockets.
Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
pudding... thats always a funny word
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
Went to my friends house with my girlfriend today. As we walked in I noticed her phone automatically connected to his wifi. That f*cking slut.
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
My favorite thing about decorative towels is how you`re not allowed to use them. Because nothing says class like useless towels.
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
A normal person is just someone you don`t know well enough yet.
I don`t always say I`m never drinking again, but when I do, I`m a f*cking liar.
What if "I`m coming out with a new scent" was just a way for famous people to warn others that they were about to fart?
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that`d be great.
10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something