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I`m going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I`m outstanding.
If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick: My girlfriend.
When I want your opinion, I’ll give it a funny voice.
Not sure if my dog is barking for no reason or I’m about to be murdered.
Who do you have to sleep with around here to sleep with someone around here?!
There’s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.
Everytime I see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think….there’s another prostitute making a house call……
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
Home is where the alcohol is.
Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.