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I just called. To say. I texted you.
You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
Now that I`ve maxed out my 401k for the year, I`ll get a tattoo, said no one ever.
I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It`s like they don`t know I plan on cropping them out later.
My neighbor was singing in the shower again this morning. I didn’t mind though as I can`t hear anything through the telescope.
Blue&Black or White&Gold? Who cares what color the dress is, so long as its balled up on the floor of my bedroom.
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends
Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That`s how this works.
Hawaii is a great place to live if you hate being eligible for contests.
Just heard someone pronounce the H in wheel so I`m gonna need a minute
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole. jk
The awkward moment when you realise you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway.
When one door closes another one opens. Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that’s how doors work.
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.