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If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
Just got a new phone. Pretty pissed all my contacts were not lost.
Something I will never understand: Why it’s acceptable for people to be idiots but not acceptable for me to point it out.
with great power...comes great electric bill...
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
"Size DOES matter", I whisper to my double stuffed Oreos.
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
Don’t ask a girl where she wants to eat. Tell her to guess where you’re taking her to eat. Then take her to her first guess.
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...
It must be very hard to be a Nigerian lawyer who specializes in international inheritance law.
Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?
Who’s that sexy beast…………..oh I clicked on my own profile again. ;)
Going to the toilet without your phone is like going to war without a gun
Sometimes I ask myself why do I stay up so late? Then I tell myself it`s none of my damn business.