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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 7 am is sexy... Then yeah, I`m your guy.
If you listen real closely to my kids arguing tonight, you`ll hear the sound of me pouring a glass of wine.
This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.
The problem with diets is pizza.
Settle down homemade play dough parents.
The computers were down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards to play solitaire.
You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
I`m not saying Goldilocks was a piece of sh!t, but she broke into someone`s house and just started eating their breakfast.
i wonder if fish get thirsty .
Only you can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
Check this one out.........1
Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?
I`ll be busy tonight taking my girlfriend out to dinner and then having sex all night. Is what I`d be saying if I had money ... or a girlfriend