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My girlfriend said she wasn`t impressed and felt she needed a man with at least 6 inches. So I folded it in half.
You don`t see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don`t see psychics winning the lottery every week.
A dog running a hundred miles to retrieve a stick? That`s pretty far-fetched.
I changed the audio of my GPS to a man`s voice. Now it just says "It`s around here somewhere. Keep driving for a little while."
I don`t exactly have a "to do" list. I have what you might call "If I ever log off Facebook and feel like getting around to doing it" list.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain realizes what I`m doing.
Is it just me or is waking up at 3am and trying to read a text message like looking directly into the sun?
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
Bacon has protein. Spinach has protein. Bacon is a vegetable.
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han
After Monday and Tuesday... even the week says WTF!
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.
The quality of a good neighbour is not seeing them often.
I try and inspire at least one person everyday to leave me the f*ck alone.
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?