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Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ”K” instead of ”OK”?
No matter how little I do in a day. I always feel like I could have done less.
My best childhood memory was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…. I miss teleporting. It never happens to me anymore.
Me being rude: Shut the f*ck up. Me being polite: Please shut the f*ck up.
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that."
I`d kill for a microwave that plays Europe`s “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.
All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society`s way of preparing you for your driver`s license photo.
I think I really have an amazing butt, every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say,"what an a$$.."
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
You may think I`m a loser, but to my goldfish, I`m the god of flakes.
This morning I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them said, "How did you get in here?"