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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
Can you imagine the reactions 25 years ago if you showed someone a photo album of pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
My wife complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: `Why am I talking to myself?`
My girlfriend told me that I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
I`ve made up my mind, I`m not giving up anything for Lent, I`m no quitter...
I`ll never forget the first time I saw a dry erase board, "Wow" I thought, "that`s remarkable"
Every time I`m about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up...
I don’t know how many girls it takes to change a lightbulb but I guarantee you they’d post pictures of them doing it on Facebook.
Dear Autocorrect, She`s an amazing woman not an amazon woman. Thanks. And now I`m never getting laid.
Do you ever just look at someone and think "Wow, let me take off your pants."