Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I appreciate your help, but no thanks, I can f*ck up my life on my own.
My coworker`s inspire me to drink on the job.
Never take advice from someone more miserable than you are.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it takes up a lot more hard drive space.
A man walks into a bar & orders a beer. He drinks it, looks in his pocket & orders another. This happens 7 more times. Bartender asks, "What`s in your pocket?" Man says, "I have a photo of my wife in there. When she looks good enough, I`ll go home."
If I was a Jedi there is a 100% chance that I would use the Force inappropriately.
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
Being sick is your bodies way of saying “Hey, you really need to catch up on some TV”.
Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.
Chuck E Cheese: Because it`s never too early to introduce your children to gambling and bad nutrition.
If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not your true friends.
My boss yelled at me yesterday "It`s the fifth time you`ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it`s Friday?"…