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So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
Maybe I`m the good kind of fat like an avocado.
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented.
Sorry, I can`t hangout. My uncle`s cousin`s sister in law`s best friend`s insurance agent`s roommate`s pet goldfish drowned. It was tragic.
If you ever hear me say that I missed you it`s only because I have bad aim.
My favorite all time cooking shows: 1. Iron Chef 2. Hell`s Kitchen 3. Breaking bad
About to stick a pin in your voodoo doll.... Brace yourself.
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a "judgment free" zone...unless we`re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... it`s cuz you have really nice tits.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
I like how the nice people of Sesame Street all know that Oscar the Grouch lives in that can, and yet they still stuff their trash into it.
Every time I see a pregnant woman, I very much want to ask if she swallowed a watermelon seed.
Requesting a table in the “Hot Waitress” section should be socially acceptable.
Celebrate Valentines Day responsibly, or you`ll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward