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One man`s sarcastic answer, is another man`s stupid question
My internet went down for about 5 minutes earlier....so I talked to my family.....they seem like nice people!
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
Chasing your dreams is hard... especially when that damn alarm keeps going off
Just bought myself a mistletoe belt buckle. Wish me luck.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
"What doesn`t kill you makes you smaller." -Super Mario
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
If he pauses a video game to text you, he`s probably already losing, no need to feel special or anything,
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
Thinking of opening a bar right next to a gym and call it “Decisions, Decisions”.
Top three reasons he doesn`t text you back: 1. He`s just not that into you 2. He`s imaginary 3. He`s a cat
I asked my wife what women really want, she said attentive lovers. Or maybe she said "a tent of lovers." I wasn`t really listening.
I`m at the age where if someone says "Go big or go home," I`m usually fine with going home.
If House of Cards has taught me anything it’s that I need a friend who owns a rib place.