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Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.
The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it ... I`m gonna miss that baby...
I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on facebook and then nobody likes your status. Depressing... :(
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
Shout out to sidewalks. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
I like to test the waters by pushing people in.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
You know you`re married when you find her sexier with clothes on.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
The only trouble with resisting temptation is that you may not get another chance...
If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.
The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.
Are you really sorry or are you just Charlie Sheen sorry?
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.