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Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
Sorry I stopped listening to your story when it wasn’t about me
Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
It only takes a second to show a person how much you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever...
I`ll act my age when I`m 69..
Matchbooks exist just to be clues in detective movies.
I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.
"Size DOES matter", I whisper to my double stuffed Oreos.
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
I`m just doing what the beer tells me to.
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
"Iyam A. Wii Todd" <-- Bet you can say that name out loud, in a crowded place, and really fast!
Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?