Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
I`ve always wondered how the job application process at Hooters works. Do they give you a bra and orange shorts and say, "Here, can you fill these both out"?
It’s not that I’m old, your music really does suck.
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
The officer said, "you drinking?" I said, "you buying?" then we both laughed and laughed... And now I need bail money.
Alcohol makes me worse at everything except telling secrets
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you`ve gone Commando a few times in your life.
Tomorrow I`m going to start using big words to sound smart....Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence
If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I`ve never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?
Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction, I hope there’s no hard feelings.
Why can’t we all just get a Long Island Iced Tea?
Having a bad day? Imagine a T-Rex trying to masturbate. you`re welcome.
Living with a child is like using a blender with no lid...
I just did a weeks worth of cardio after I walked into a spider`s web.