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I want to spend the rest of my life photo bombing the Google street view camera shots dressed as Waldo.
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche.
Fox canceled Cops. So I guess if I want to stay current on what my family is up to now, I`ll have to turn to Facebook.
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
I`ll be drinking tell I see Leprechauns tonight.
This bar doesn’t know it yet, but it’s about to be karaoke night.
The awkward moment when people think you`re drunk when in fact you`re just a blast naturally.
Celebrate Valentines Day responsibly, or you`ll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
I hope my liquor store is having an after Christmas sale!!
My body needs a refresh button.
My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from the driver.
I wonder what the inventor of the drawing board said when his first design didn’t work out.