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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
How about putting that screaming kid on vibrate
There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
I`m pretty sure if someone broke into my house, my dog would just show them how much he likes to lick his balls
I often confuse reptiles and amphibians. Actually, if I`m being brutally honest, they pretty much never know what I`m talking about
Just about the time I started to give a crap, my attitude became constipated......
I went to open a can of Whoop-Ass but it had a child-proof lid.
Id explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
An elderly woman at an ATM asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Yup, she needs a walker.
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
Honey, tact is for people who aren`t witty enough to be sarcastic.
When I "rage against the machine" the machine is usually a printer.