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"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
"Let`s give the bad guy a ponytail." - 80s movies
Alcohol: Because no good story starts with “So this one time I was eating a salad….”
I`m not "rich" ... But, actually, it depends on how you define wealth. If you`re talking about money, relationships, or happiness, then no still
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
Don`t apologize because you haven`t posted in a while. No one cared.
Time to walk the cow and milk the dog, Happy Hump Day!
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
Asked my wife if she would be my friend on FB again, she said no. She said my “funny” status updates are annoying. Therefore, I must conclude she loves me for my body...
I prefer to think outside the box because things can get very dark inside it.
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.
I’ve thought about it, and there still is no good reason for me to grow up.