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Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
My death bed confession is going to be epic!
If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids why don’t that have a Beer Truck for adults?
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
Apologizing for canceling a meeting is like saying sorry for buying me a beer.
Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you`re interrupting!
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
Hate cleaning my floors...how fast would I go to hell if I got a blind roommate and replaced his cane with a swiffer?
Lawns: You cut them, then water them so they grow just so you can cut them again. This does not make sense.
You bring the friendship, I`ll bring the benefits.
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs!
Sorry I poked you all over your body, but I was just looking for the off button.
Since joining Facebook, about 8 aggressive lampposts have walked up to me in the street and punched me in the face.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I hate you bye