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that awkward moment when you`re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.
The bat signal seems pretty useless if they need Batman during the day.
that moment when somebody calls your house phone and ask where you are
So, if I lie to the government, it’s a felony. But if they lie to me its politics?
Work is the result of failing to procrastinate effectively.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person. ..apparently they call THAT stalking.
Zombies only eat brains. You’re safe.
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really really fast :)
Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.
Was hating my job until I drove past a grown man dressed as a Taco on the side of the road. Thanks again Perspective