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Crap, my Internet has been down for 4 days ...Probably because my neighbors moved 4 days ago.
Father: Earlier you used to call me papa but now dad, why? Daughter: Come on dad, calling you PAPA spoiles my lipstick.
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
If a man repeats everything a woman says, word for word,,,,,,,, is he still wrong?
The phrase "Go see your Ford dealer" means something completely different in Canada than the United States.
That awkward moment when you imagine your own funeral...
Putting a light in the refrigerator is God`s way of telling us that it`s okay to eat before going to bed.
Do feminists look under their beds for the boogie woman?
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We`re all excited for the ride until we realize what it`s like where we`re going.
I`ve got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I`m gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist, a priest and bail money.
The best part of winter coming is that all the bugs are rotting in hell where they belong.
I finally had the talk with my kids. I told them that in the wild animals eat their young so they better get their sh!t together.
An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians.
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....